she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
