ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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