I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
