nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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