He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
