Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
