I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
