I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
