Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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