I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize