I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
