That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
