I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
