But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
