I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
