It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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