Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
