Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
sex in a hospital.. check
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
