Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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