just tell him i said nine months
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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