I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
