so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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