i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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