I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
