you guys were way drunker than both of me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
