While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
