Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's great music for shaving your balls
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
