She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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