He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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