If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
