Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
