Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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