ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
