Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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