just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
