apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
