He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
