She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
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I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.