i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
