There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.