Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.