I feel like abortions should bother me more
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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