i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
