in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
