Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
