me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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