Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
