apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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