You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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