never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
