forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Randomize
