I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
