Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
