the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
