I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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