After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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