you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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