well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
