Me too!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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