just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
