I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
