My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
