The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
