so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
