check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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