Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize