I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
