Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
