i don't plan on having that self control this summer
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
