Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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