it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize